Adapting a lyric from Iggy Azalea, “First things first, I’m a realist.” Actually, I am not. I am a hopeless dreamer. I see the world and I imagine how things could be so much better. I think of how we could all get along if we would just love one another and there was no such thing as evil.
Rainbows, unicorns, and John Lennon all makeup the soundtrack of my life.
Imagine a world where the events of the past month did not take place; everyone had enough food to eat; no one was addicted to drugs, and money was an afterthought.
Imagine a world where people did not physically or emotionally hurt one another; where the only “scar” talked about is the asshole lion that killed Mufasa.
Imagine a world, if you can, where we do not body shame; where equity and human rights are more than occasional conversation pieces; where we can talk about mental health without fear. Where workaholism is not a positive trait and earning a livable wage is not a privilege but a foregone conclusion.
Imagine a world where being right is not a badge of honor, it is an expression of humility, where we step down from our pedestal and lift our neighbor up.
But if you are like me, you are running out of imagination.
Dreams are becoming nightmares and any levelheaded person knows we must manage our expectations when it comes to reality.
At some point in our lives we grow up or life forces us to grow up. Either we begin to manage our expectations, or life manages them for us.
A perfect world does not exist, so here is what we should expect:
Life is hard, then you die.
Love can only be found in movie scripts and cheesy romance novels.
Therapy is for crazy people or people who have had really bad things happen to them.
All conservatives are bigots and all liberals are loonies.
People are evil, selfish, and hateful.
If you want something you earn it, regardless of the things holding you back.
Poor people, drug addicts, etc., are not as valuable as the rest of humanity.
Men are naturally made to be stronger than women, therefore they should be in power.
Everyone is born with the same opportunity and if they claim otherwise, too bad.
If someone has a different opinion, perspective, conviction, or understanding, they are the enemy.
The list could go on and on as there are many more deep-seated and harmful expectations, but it exhausts me to think many people hold the aforementioned as truth and fact; as unequivocal, irrevocable, non-negotiable expectations for reality.
So, hear me out even though this may sound crazy.
Expectations are killing us.
In a world where we expect death, pain, hate, and deceit, we leave no room for their counterparts. In a society where we expect people to live into stereotypes rather than allowing people to live into individuality, we fail to recognize the beauty of being different.
We need to live into the unexpected and to appreciate what we do not know; to accept that expectations can be just as flawed or misguided as opinions.
So then, do we become naïve? On the contrary, we must manage our expectations and name them for what they are: toxic or healing, deceitful or benevolent, ignorant or empathetic.
(Luke 19:1-10 for reference) Jesus once walked into a crowd of people and shouted at a man to come down from a tree the man had climbed. Now this man was hated among the people, a chief sinner if you will. Many people figure this guy was deceitful because of the profession he was in. Whatever it was, the point is, people did not like him. People did not want to associate with him. Whatever he had to say did not matter.
But then there was Jesus who invited himself into the home of the person who was hated by everyone else. Jesus identified that expectations kill. Jesus knew the expectations of everyone around him, but identified them as toxic, deceitful, and ignorant.
The man ultimately welcomed Jesus gladly and Jesus accepted the invitation. An unexpected turn of events.
Too often we are the people in the crowd, closed off with our own opinions. Instead, we need to invite ourselves into someone’s life and hear their story.
Sometimes we need to set aside what we expect so that we may find the unexpected.
Give it a shot, who knows how your life might change.